Shaman Hammer

1. Beer Brewing / Wine Making / Liquor Distilling . I’m talking about making beer, wine, and liquor from scratch. Sure, I’ve brewed a few batches of homemade beer… but I use pre-packaged, premeasured ingredient kits so that doesn’t count. I’m talking about brewing and distilling from nothing but the rawest of materials… wild wheat, barley, corn, and other grains. Moonshiners will have an advantage here… 2. Farming and Gardening. How many of us know anything about farming any more? The family farms are disappearing rapidly, replaced by mega-farms owned by corporate conglomerates. How many people under 40 know how to prepare, plant, maintain, and harvest a garden? And then “can” the produce in mason jars to eat during the winter months? My guess is less than 5 percent. Why bother when you can buy three cans of green beans for a dollar at Food Lion all year long? 3. Metalworking and Fabrication . Remember when they used to teach “metalworking” in high school? Not anymore… now we just sh...

Last time I heard, the state of North Carolina didn’t have two nickels to rub together. Maybe that explains the aggressive “Powersave” features of my arch-nemesis: the network printer. If this machine isn’t used every 30 seconds, it goes into “Powersave” mode – which basically means that it shuts down and won’t do a damn thing until it warms back up again. I often become enraged when I’m standing in front of it waiting for my document to print. While I fidget in the workroom, the printer’s LCD screen slowly scrolls an endless list of stupid messages every fucking time I try to print something: WARMING UP……….… CLEANING……...… CALIBRATING……...…CHECKING SUPPLIES….…ORDER YELLOW TONER SOON…. VERIFYING……. TESTING….… GENUINE HP SUPPLIES INSTALLED….… PRINTING……. All this drama before printing is very confusing to me. If the printer really does need to constantly clean, calibrate, and do a bunch of bullshit to itself, why doesn’t it do those things when nobody is using it? Why does it wait until...