Shaman Hammer

The Most Politically Correct Toy Ever! If you’ve been following my blog, you already know that I almost purchased a Barack Obama chia pet. So I would like to redeem myself by featuring the most politically correct toy ever manufactured by Medline products. If these pictures look a little fuzzy to you, just click on them and you can check them out more clearly. Forget G.I. Joe. Forget Nick Fury. Forget all those other macho, testosterone-riddled, violence-prone army sergeants we idolized as kids. Meet Scip – the “Combat Nurse.” According to the box, Scip is tough enough to endure the “chaotic offloading of wounded comrades and back-to-back lifesaving surgeries.” He is also rugged enough to have his “stamina challenged every day with long hours and tense shifts.” If you’re confused, don’t worry. The back of the box explains how you’re supposed to fit Scip’s character into your pre-existing paradigm. Scip works in the center of the war zone, “prepping the patient and operating room for a ...

To Chia or Not to Chia... that is the question. I have always been a big fan of Chia pets – the pottery that grows! This is a picture of my first Chia pet. I’ve had it for over ten years, and have planted and re-planted it many times. I think it’s supposed to be either a dog or a cow. As you will readily notice, my Chia is bald. That is because I have an amazing talent for offending people. Let me tell what I did this time that was so horrible. When I first started working as an administrative intern, I “seeded” my Chia pet and had it growing on the windowsill of my office. My supervising administrator promptly declared the Chia an aberration, and insisted that I get rid of it. When I refused, she went into my office when I wasn’t there and poured it full of bleach. The clay readily absorbed this toxic substance and it hasn’t been able to grow anything since (despite repeated soakings in clean water). To this day I have never understood why she couldn’t endure the sight of it. So imagi...